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Historical Answers
Those of you that are regular readers of this newsletter know that from time to time I like to insert some humorous articles. I do so for two basic reasons. First, I am a firm believer that laughter should play an integral part in the life of every believer. In a Psalm that some bible scholars believe was written by  Ezra, we read: When the LORD turned again the
captivity of Zion, we were like them that dream. Then was our mouth filled with laughter, and our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, The LORD hath done great things for them. (Ps 126:1-2) By this we see that when foreigners heard the Hebrews laughing and singing, they saw it as an indication that God was with them. It should be the same with Christians today. I don't understand where some believers get the idea that we should always wear a somber look. Secondly, I like to insert goofy items because our readers make more comments on these than on other articles. This reminds me also that people are actually reading this newsletter. Today I would like to share  with you, an internet item which was forwarded to me that features actual answers by 6th grade students during History tests. I've made no attempt to correct the misspelled words or change their reports in any way. [1] Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies, and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. [2] Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. [3] Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. (We think concubines) [4] The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myth! s. A myth is a female moth. [5] Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. [6] In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits, and threw the java. [7] Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out, "Tee hee Brutus." [8] Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw. [9] Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." [10] It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drake
circumsized the world with a 100-foot clipper. [11] Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. /////
That was it! We don't have room for more of these answers. C'mon readers, you must admit we learned some history here we never knew before.
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